Send the Statue of Liberty back to France

We propose sending the Statue of Liberty back to France. We believe that the statue no longer reflects the values that American holds dear. America no longer accepts immigrants. We are actually attempting to surround our country with a wall. We do not like the poor. Perhaps we can establish a package deal, where we send them to France as well. Inquire within.

07 April 2006

Did France give us a reciept? Did we keep it?

That darn statue, what on earth are we going to do with a thing like that hanging around NYC? I don't think new arrivals to this country are really gonna believe it when the border guards smile and say "Naw, we don't mean it anymore, haven't you heard of sarcasm?" Starving, huddled masses yearning to breathe free? Nobody wants those these days. I know the whole mission of this site is to give the copper-clad lady back to the people who sent it over to us in the first place, maybe make a lame excuse like "It doesn't match the new decor" or something, but have you cast a look over towards our European friends over across the Atlantic? They aren't exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of more people coming into their countries. Six months ago, France was treated to two fucking weeks of roits by their own immigrants and sons thereof. No industrialised countries seem to want anyone moving in and applying for citizenship unless they are well-educated, young, and will make them a lot of money. Oddly enough, those highly-trained types who would just be perfect for the U.S. or E.U. or wherever, don't seem to want to move as much as they used to. With an explosion in technological jobs in places like India and China, computer savvy citizens are sticking around to make their home countries competitive with anything silicon valley or Tokyo can throw at them.

So, starving huddled masses yearning to breathe free, where are you to go? Have you thought of America's friendly neighbor to the north, Canada? At one tenth the population of the U.S. of A. it's an attractive option, and over crowding is a bit of a non-issue as of right now. Canada offers a nice package of benefits for its citizenry as well, namely socialised health-care, and that is something you just cannot put a price on. Take it from a person who has preformed dental surgery on himself, I don't care what form you want me to fill out or what line you want me to wait in, if you get me into a dentist's office for free, I love you. Perhaps one of you should call Canada, it's toll free, even, at
1-800-755-7046. Ask them if they have any need for a giant copper woman holding a torch. They're so polite up there, they might just take it because you asked.

04 April 2006

Let's even the score

It has come to the attention of the few who have formed this collective that the poem, "The New Colossus" happens to be posted on a bronze plate displayed quite promentenly along with the Statue of Liberty. We have formed a collective whose purpose is to deal with these sorts of attacks on the American people. It seems highly likely that the purveyors of this outrage are almost without a doubt the liberals of the early 20th century congress. They appear to be attacking American values with their rhetoric from beyond the grave.

Of course it wasn't enough to "accept" this gift from France. Seventeen years after its dediction, we needed to add a 20 year old poem about immigrants and rights. Imagine if today we ingraved on a plaque, a poem which was written in 1986! It can only be assumed that the 1986 poem to be used, would be the lyrical styling of the most popular music of the day, 1986 having produced such #1 hits as Falco's "Rock me Amadeus" and "Stuck with You" by Huey Lewis & the News.

Well now, that sort of spin may have played well in nineteen aught-three, but stop trying to throw it around in twenty aught-six. Emma Lazarus defines America no better today than Huey Lewis.

Huey Lewis said "We are bound by all the rest; Like the same phone number; All the same friends; And the same address," which may have been the most apt zeitgeist of 1986, just as "Give me you tired, your poor; your huddled masses yearning to breathe free" may have made a whole lot of sense when it was written in 1883, but neither seem to be making my dinner tonight.

Don't that we more or less still mean well. It just flatly does not apply. Need an example; reference current legislation in the US House of Representative which proposes building a wall across the Mexican border. You know, like with towers. And guards. With weapons. Imagine cold war Berlin.

America says "Fuck your huddled masses, we have our own." This statue is like meat on a Friday during lent. Shame, shame. Let the world know where America stands.

Love always,

Our lady of archaic values

27 March 2006

The New Colossus

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep ancient land, your storied pomp!' cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

-Emma Lazarus

Statue - 1

America - 0